We Need to Talk About Rudy Giuliani’s Hair

We Need to Talk About Rudy Giuliani’s Hair


DICKEY, I APPRECIATE THAT. I’M JIMMY. I’M THE HOST OF THE SHOW. THANK YOU FOR WATCHING, THANK YOU FOR COMING. WE HAVE QUITE A SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT. GENTLEMEN WHO WOULD LIKE TO BE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, THE SENATOR FROM VERMONT, BERNIE SANDERS IS HERE WITH US TONIGHT. BERNIE RAN FOR PRESIDENT IN 2016 AND IS HOPING PEOPLE ARE STILL FEELING THE BERN, HOWEVER, IF YOU ARE STILL FEELING THAT AFTER THREE YEARS, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY CONSULT A UROLOGIST. ROBERT MUELLER APPEARED IN CONGRESS FOR NEARLY SEVEN HOURS FOR Q&A, MORE Q THAN A. AND HE IS A LIFE-LONG REPUBLICAN WHO SPENT THE DAY BEING ABUSED BY HIS PARTY. AT ONE POINT, MELANIA HAD TO COME IN AND TELL THEM TO BE BEST. THEY TRIED TO DISTRACT US FROM THE CRIMES OUR PRESIDENT COMMITTED. FOX NEWS WENT SO FAR TO BRING IN A BODY LANGUAGE EXPERT TO SUGGEST MUELLER WASN’T BEING ENTIRELY FORTHCOMING.>>HE HOLDS HIS FINGERS TOGETHER AND HIS TONGUE JUTS OUT. NUMBER ONE, WHEN YOU KEEP YOUR HANDS LIKE THIS YOU ARE SHOWING RESTRAINT. WHEN YOU STICK YOUR TONGUE OUT, YOU’RE SAYING TO SOMEONE, I DON’T LIKE WHAT’S COMING OUT. I’M NOT HAPPY WITH THIS. SO HANDS RESTRAINED. HE’S HOLDING EYE CONTACT, NOT MOVING. AND THEN YOU SEE THAT TINY TONGUE JUT, AND YOU REALIZE, THIS A MAN TRYING TO HOLD THINGS BACK.>>OH.>>Jimmy: OH, FASCINATING. IS IT POSSIBLE THEY’VE BEEN DRINKING THE PEROXIDE THEY PUT IN THEIR HAIR? BECAUSE TRUMP AND HIS LEGAL TEAM DECLARED THE CASE CLOSED. BUT HIS PERSONAL ATTORNEY, RUDY, TOOTIE JULIANNY SAYS THERE’S MORE TO COME.>>THAT HAND WILL COME UP AND THE BODY WAS BURIED TODAY. >>Jimmy: THERE’S SOMETHING NUTS GOING ON WITH RUDY GIULIANI’S HAIR. HE’S GOT CLOWN HAIR NOW. WE DID SOME DIGGING. THIS IS A FASCINATING EVOLUTION. I ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT HAPPENED TO RUDY GIULIANI. THIS IS A MAYOR, WE RESPECTED HIM. HERE’S A PARALLEL. HERE’S RUDY GIULIANI AS A PROSECUTOR IN 1995. HE AND DONALD TRUMP MET AT THE COMB-OVER CLUB DOWNTOWN. HE SEEMED TO KNOW WHAT WAS TO COME HAIR WISE. HERE’S RUDY’S HAIR IN 2000. NOT BAD. HERE, IT’S FINE, HE’S GETTING OLDER. HIS HEAD HAS A HUMP ON IT LIKE A CAMEL. HERE’S RUDY GIULIANI YESTERDAY. WE’VE DONE NOTHING TO ALTER THIS. ALL OF A SUDDEN HIS HAIR IS PURPLE. IT LOOKS LIKE HE WAS EATING PANCAKES AND FELL ASLEEP IN A PUDDLE OF BOYSENBERRY SYRUP. IF YOU SPRAY THAT MAGENTA SPRAY PAINT OUT OF HIS HAIR, HE LOOKS FINE, LIKE A WEIRD OLD MONSTER, LIKE ANYONE ELSE. [ APPLAUSE ] HEY, HERE’S ANOTHER CRAZY THING. ON TUESDAY, THE PRESIDENT SPOKE AT THIS ANNUAL TEEN SUMMIT FOR A CONSERVATIVE STUDENT GROUP CALLED TURNING POINT USA. FOR WHATEVER REASON, THE OFFICIAL SEAL OF THE OFFICE OF THE UNITED STATES WAS NOT THE OFFICIAL SEAL OF THE OFFICE OF THE UNITED STATES. THAT SEAL HAS A TWO-HEADED EAGLE, WHICH IS THE SYMBOL OF RUSSIA. IT’S HOLDING GOLF CLUBS, A LOT OF CASH, AND INSTEAD OF EPL E PLURIBUS UNUM. DONALD CAN HARDLY TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ERIC AND JUNIOR, HE LASHED OUT AT SWEDEN ON BEHALF OF A$AP ROCKY. THIS AFTERNOON HE WROTE, VERY DISAPPOINTED IN THE PRIME MINISTER FOR BEING UNABLE TO ACT. SWEDEN HAS LET OUR AFRICAN-AMERICAN COMMUNITY DOWN IN THE UNITED STATES. I’M SURE THEY’RE PRETTY UPSET ABOUT THAT. I WATCHED THE TAPE OF A$AP ROCKY, IMAGINE THAT BY THE WAY, AND HE WAS BEING FOLLOWED AND HARASS THE BY TROUBLEMAKERS, TREAT AMERICANS FAIRLY, #FREE ROCKY. IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH HE TWEETED AGAIN, GIVE A$AP ROCKY HIS FREEDOM. WE DO SO MUCH FOR SWEDEN, BUT IT DOESN’T WORK THE OTHER WAY AROUND. THEY SHOULD FOCUS ON THEIR REAL CRIME PROBLEM, #FREE ROCKY. HE THINKS THEY’RE HOLDING STALLONE. A$AP ROCKY IS SCHEDULED TO GO TO TRIAL NEXT WEEK. KANYE WEST ASK THE DONALD TRUMP TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE SITUATION. GUESS WHO WAS AT THE WHITE HOUSE THIS MORNING? NONE OTHER THAN KIM KARDASHIAN. SO OUR NATIONAL REALITY SHOW MARCHES ON. NORTH KOREA LAUNCHED TWO SHORT-RANGE MISSILES INTO THE SEA. I HATE TO BE THE ONE TO TELL YOU, A GENTLE WAY TO PUT THIS, BUT AQUA MAN IS DEAD. THEY KILLED, HE’S DEAD. SOME BELIEVE NORTH KOREA DID THIS BECAUSE THEY WANT ANOTHER SUMMIT. KIM JONG UN IS THE ONLY LEADER IN THE WORLD LOOKING TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH DONALD TRUMP. MAYBE IT WASN’T A THREAT.

100 Replies to “We Need to Talk About Rudy Giuliani’s Hair

  1. Hey Rudy- We know Saudis are cutting their terrorism funding due to low oil prices. So MEK terrorists do not have as much budget to pay you and Bolton as much as they did before. However Trump wants to compete with Cirque du Soleil and have his total cabinet join him in his new adventure as Cirque du Raciste and needs more clowns.

  2. Really, so now Kim Kardashian is giving her self airs of a diplomat? For real? 🤦 What a freaking joke, that administration has become.

  3. IS THIS ALL YOU IDIOTS DO?…. ITS ALWAYS A PERSONAL ATTACK…..YOU ARE PATHETIC AND DISGUSTING AND LOW LIFE……..🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🍼🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

  4. Misinformed, misleading and not funny. If Rudy was any Democrat's attorney then Kimmel would be kissing his ass. This tells us that the only comedy that you're good at and that is making fun of peoples appearance. Childish and playground humor is all you have.

  5. No, we need to stop talking about Rudy at all; maybe then he will return to his rightful place beneath that slimy rock from whence he slithered.

  6. What the Donald fail to notice is that America influence in the world is long gone..majority of the world don't jump anymore when America say so they ask why??? unless u are Israel and some third world nations who always getting hands out. Minus CUBA..

  7. Trump is desperately trying to prove he's not a racist. He just said a month ago that Central Park 5 should STILL be put to – actual death. Death? They are cleared- exonerated, free and clear of all charges.. Trump said he didn't believe it. Um, it was proven. He couldn't care less that they're American either. Racist bigot.

  8. I can't believe he was once a normal human being,mayor of NY. Wtf happened to him? He had to have been the same lying punk he is now, only it went un-noticed. Not only does he look like a corps but he had many women,and cheated on all of them. How's that even possible? smh

  9. Nosferatu Giuliani is too busy babysitting aging Augustus Gloop Trump to properly prepare for interviews! ((👴))👀

  10. It’s trumps world view that it’s possible for the prime minister to interfere with the justice department;) there is still the separation of powers in other countries:) btw. Beating someone up, who throws a cellphone at u, is not selfdefense in Europe unless he is not stop throwing more phones (during the danger), call the police, go into a shop. Just for famous visitors that might get harassed. / police is really fast btw.

  11. I remember the day when Trump was in NK to make the "deal" Trumptards hailed and gave Trump a reach around for. Saying NK hasnt shot up any rockets in a long time. Where are they now?

  12. We Need to Talk About Rudy Giuliani's Hair – no – you really don't. How is this different to making fun of a woman's appearance? That would be called sexist – so is this.

  13. He visited Nancy Pelosi's hairdresser . She's a 78 yr old redhead . We never have seen Kimmels mom , because she hides her head , because she's Kimmels mom .

  14. Liberals love to call Trump stupid . The Sweden thing is a perfect example of Trump outsmarting the Democrats . I love it . I see it coming . And the dumbass Democrats don't . HAHAHAHA

  15. Bernie got played by Hillary who got played by trump. So there’s no way he’s gonna win against the guy who beat the person who beat him. Bernie is gotta get himself some DNC or some Russian boys to make sure Bernie wins even when both his opponents had more votes than him.

  16. Amazing that if anybody else said these things, they would be racist- Jimmy and his followers are some two faced bs artists. Oh wait, this is the excuse- it’s only comedy.

  17. I believe the body language expert. I'm sure Muller was holding things back, mostly the urge to tell ya'll to f**k off!

  18. This guy reminds me of a tv show that is past its shelf life retiring in a high note is far better than flogging a dead horse it’s embarrassing

  19. Is that all you got Jimmy?… bits about someones appearance. Can't wait for your observations regarding cancer or abortion – that should be a real hoot.

  20. Giuliani looks like what Ronald McDonald would look like if the whole chain had just collapsed under the weight of the presidents girth.

  21. So the Fox body language expert states that Mueller was holding back.
    I think we can all agree with that.
    I’m sure he’d have loved to tell it as it was, but is too principled.

  22. Jimmy Kimmel's just a puppet, butt hurt suck-ass bich, he's got no jokes, the Real American people put a whoop ass on him and all of Hollywood, and like Robert De Niro and the rest they're consumed with Trump, grow up fool
    Suck it up and take your rejection
    You have the syndrome so bad you eat sleep and think Trump all day long.

  23. Put me in the mind of what happened to Stephen Miller's hair when he suddenly had a "more hair" on his head all of a sudden.

  24. Watch out, watch out…GHOULiani out & about.. Lock up your wife's & daughters, or they would surely fall his devastating good looks charm.

  25. Poopy Giuliani. He is a joke and a big one at that . his buddy Donald trump said he was there on 9__11 I think he got that confused with the girls he was sharing with Jeffrey Epstein. How old were the girls he had in that Moscow hotel room and whoever has that damn pee tape release it

  26. I actually know a body language expert. Think of him like robert de niro in meet the parents of the kind of work he does but only american serial killers. This does exist, just no one that young or ever that pretty would be in that field.

  27. Wow, so what does trumps body language say when he flails his hands around and makes that DSL mouth when he talks? Rudy is using same Grecian hair color for men. 😈👾🤡👺👹👿💩👾

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  29. 1:32 — Yeh, I'll believe the 23-year-old blond Valley Girl with fake tits is a "body language expert."

  30. Now do Bernie. You know, the guy that uses a balloon to comb his hair.
    Oh, and Sweden is now an official sh!thole.

  31. BOZO the Clown fitting the "red" look. He should put on his "SCREAM" mask oh that is his real face. Pathetic Little man.

  32. 2:01 I remember a episode from the tv series"DAD"S ARMY," it was set in WW2 in Great Britain, seventy year olds that formed the Home Army , they were trying to look younger so the Undertaker, applied his talents to make them look younger like corpses.

    Looks like Rudy had the same Undertaker work on him.

  33. How come no one makes fun of Pelosi and her balding ass ? Or Schumer? Look at Schumer's head..and his front flap. He and nancy are both RIDICULOUS…cmon Jimmy

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