Celebrities Read Mean Tweets #11

>>GAL GADOT, I’MMA — I’MMA? I MMA, IS THAT A WORD? I’MMA BE WONDERING WHY THAT WOMAN GOT NO TITTIES. THEY’RE HERE.>>EMMA WOTSON SEEMS LIKE THE TYPE OF GIRL I’D BE FRIENDS WITH FOR LIKE THREE DAYS AND THEN GET SICK OF BUT NOT TELL …

Weekend Update on Fake News Sites – SNL

Weekend Update on Fake News Sites – SNL

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] AMERICANS ARE STILL PROTESTING DONALD TRUMP’S PRESIDENCY. WITH MORE ON THIS, HERE’S PETE DAVIDSON. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]>>PETE, YOU HAVE SOME FANS. HOW ARE YOU DOING, PETE?>>PRETTY BAD, COLIN, DOING PRETTY BAD.>>REALLY? >>YEAH.>>OH, WELL I KNOW A LOT OF …

BREAKING NEWS: Who Bit Beyonce? (w/ Helen Hunt, Chris O’Dowd & Ben Schwartz)

BREAKING NEWS: Who Bit Beyonce? (w/ Helen Hunt, Chris O’Dowd & Ben Schwartz)

>>WELCOME TO “CBS THIS EVENING.”>>James: IT’S THE EVENING. IT’S CBS. IT’S “CBS THIS EVENING.”>>GOOD EVENING, EVERYONE. THE SEARCH CONTINUES.>>James: THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S BEEN NEARLY FIVE DAYS SINCE THIS STORY WAS FIRST REPORTED. AND WITH EVERY ADDITIONAL DAY THAT PASSES, THIS IS QUICKLY BECOMING ONE OF …

Joe Wong: Building A Wall Didn’t Work For China

>>Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW. FOLKS, MY NEXT GUEST IS A STAND-UP COMEDIAN AND THE HOST OF MY FAVORITE LATE-NIGHT SHOW IN CHINA, “IS IT TRUE?” PLEASE WELCOME, ALL THE WAY FROM BEIJING, JOE WONG! ♪ ♪ ♪ ( APPLAUSE )>>HELLO. HI, …

Nancy Pelosi’s Coat, Melania Trump’s Fox News Interview – Monologue

Nancy Pelosi’s Coat, Melania Trump’s Fox News Interview – Monologue

Let’s get to the news. Following lawyer Michael Cohen’s three-year prison sentence, President Trump claimed today that Cohen pleaded guilty to campaign charges to “embarrass the President.” No, I think even Michael Cohen knows that if a guy goes out like this in public… he …

Guest Host Jennifer Lawrence Interviews Kim Kardashian West

Guest Host Jennifer Lawrence Interviews Kim Kardashian West

OKAY, LET’S DO THIS. I HAVE BEEN OBSESSED WITH OUR FIRST GUEST AND HER FAMILY FOR OVER A DECADE — IN A VERY HEALTHY WAY. [ LAUGHTER ] SHE IS THE QUEEN OF REALITY TV, SOCIAL MEDIA, AND NOW, COSMETICS, TOO, WITH HER COMPANY KKW …

The President Is Facing 17 Investigations

The President Is Facing 17 Investigations

WELCOME TO “THE LATE SHOW.” LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I’M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) WE’RE LEARNING MORE ABOUT THE RUSSIA INVESTIGATION. THE WALLS ARE CLEARLY CLOSING IN ON TRUMP. AND AFTER ALL THOSE CHEESEBURGERS, THE WALLS DON’T HAVE VERY FAR TO …

Meanwhile… Genius Says Google Is Stealing Their Lyrics

Meanwhile… Genius Says Google Is Stealing Their Lyrics

YOU KNOW, I SPEND THE FIRST ACT OF THE SHOW RIGHT OVER THERE SPLITTING THE BIG LOGS OF NEWS INTO FIREWOOD TO KEEP US ALL WARM AT NIGHT IN THE HOUSES BUILT WITH THE WOOD. BUT SOMETIMES I LIKE TO SWEEP UP THE NEWS SAWDUST, …

Good News If You’re Going to be Hit by a Google Car

Good News If You’re Going to be Hit by a Google Car

THERE’S A LOT OF TECHNOLOGY IN THE NEWS TODAY. YOU ALL KNOW THAT THE SELF–DRIVING CARS THAT GOOGLE HAS BEEN TESTING, YOU HAVE HEARD OF THIS, RIGHT? THE SELF-DRIVING CAR. YESTERDAY THEY FILED A PATENT FOR A NEW SAFETY FEATURE CALLED PEDESTRIAN GLUE, RIGHT? HONESTLY, …

Ron Burgundy: The ‘Bueller Report’ Is The Story Of 2019

Ron Burgundy: The ‘Bueller Report’ Is The Story Of 2019

>>Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY! IF YOU’RE JUST JOINING US RIGHT NOW, WE’RE HONORED TO BE JOINED BY THE GREAT RON BURGUNDY. IN YOUR OPINION — >>RIGHT.>>Stephen: — AND OBVIOUSLY KEEP IN MIND THAT WHEN YOU ANSWER, THIS IS THE ANSWER.>>YOU CAN’T REAL IT BACK IN.>>Stephen: YOU …