Guessing Ridiculous News Headlines

Guessing Ridiculous News Headlines

-Now, usually when we start the show, I’ll come out here and I’ll discuss, you know, whatever’s on my mind. But tonight I’m gonna try something a little different. Yep. I’m gonna talk about what’s on the news. [ Cheers and applause ] But here’s …

Guessing Ridiculous News Headlines: Bridesmaid Spies, Tiny Pigeon Hats

Guessing Ridiculous News Headlines: Bridesmaid Spies, Tiny Pigeon Hats

-Now, normally I like to start the show with a monologue about something super important to my life, like bobby pins or burritos. But I’ve been so busy lately, I’d rather use this time to catch up on current events. But to make it more …

Donald Trump Cold-Calls Michael Bloomberg

Donald Trump Cold-Calls Michael Bloomberg

-Well, my new poll numbers are in, and it’s not looking good. There’s only one thing left to do — make cold calls to normal, everyday Americans and try to win back their support. [ Line ringing ] Congratulations, you’re speaking to Donald Trump. I’m …

Aidy Bryant Explains the Wardrobe Mishap That Made Her Break Character on SNL

Aidy Bryant Explains the Wardrobe Mishap That Made Her Break Character on SNL

-Welcome back to the show, pal. You have a new “SNL” is it next Saturday? -Yeah, next week, we’re back. -The 25th, with Adam Driver and is it Halsey? -Halsey. -Oh, I love that. -Yeah. You know it. -You know it’s going to be good. …

News Smash: Impeachment Progress, Red Sox Scandal, Ken Jennings Jeopardy GOAT, Weed Town

News Smash: Impeachment Progress, Red Sox Scandal, Ken Jennings Jeopardy GOAT, Weed Town

-It seems like there’s so much going on right now. Today the House sent the impeachment articles to the Senate. A cheating scandal in Major League Baseball cost the Boston Red Sox manager his job. [ Cheering and applause ] Ken Jennings — Ken Jennings …

Bryan Cranston Confirms Breaking Bad Movie Rumor

Bryan Cranston Confirms Breaking Bad Movie Rumor

-Welcome back. You’re a stud. You’re a good-looking man. -They want us — Speaking of Broadway, they want to take this show that we did, this musical, right to Broadway. -Wow! You’re delivering me the news? -Well, they are going to recast your role. -Oh. …

News Smash: Trump’s Impeachment, Putin’s Press Conference, The Rise of Skywalker, Xmas Weed

News Smash: Trump’s Impeachment, Putin’s Press Conference, The Rise of Skywalker, Xmas Weed

-Guys, there’s so much going on right now. Today, the President of the United States was impeached. Over in Russia, Vladimir Putin is about to have his big year-end press conference. The movie “Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker” comes out tomorrow. And a man at …

Jimmy Shoots Free-Throws with Senator Bernie Sanders

Jimmy Shoots Free-Throws with Senator Bernie Sanders

-We were just talking about Medicare, and you actually needed some medical attention yourself a few weeks ago. Tell me a little bit about that. -I was in Las Vegas. We had an event, and for the first time in my life, I had to …

Senator Bernie Sanders Has Bad News About Climate Change

Senator Bernie Sanders Has Bad News About Climate Change

-Let’s cut to some of your major points you make running for President — climate change. I do believe we have to do something about this. -Jimmy, I don’t want to get you too nervous or get the audience too nervous, but what the — …

Slow Jam the News with President Obama

Slow Jam the News with President Obama

President Obama still has eight months left in office before his second term is up. Naturally, this is a time to look back on all he’s accomplished over the past eight years. You know, I was going to make a joke about this, but I …