Meanwhile… Genius Says Google Is Stealing Their Lyrics

Meanwhile… Genius Says Google Is Stealing Their Lyrics


YOU KNOW, I SPEND THE FIRST ACT
OF THE SHOW RIGHT OVER THERE SPLITTING THE BIG LOGS OF NEWS
INTO FIREWOOD TO KEEP US ALL WARM AT NIGHT IN THE HOUSES
BUILT WITH THE WOOD. BUT SOMETIMES I LIKE TO SWEEP UP
THE NEWS SAWDUST, SELL IT BY THE BAG TO THIS GUY OUT BACK IN A
2006 SUBARU, WHO DROPS IT OFF AT THE CANNING PLANT, WHERE THEY
USE IT AS FILLER IN OUR DOG FOOD OF A SEGMENT:
“MEANWHILE!” ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>>Stephen: MEANWHILE. JUST A METAPHOR. JUST A METAPHOR. MEANWHILE, IN ACCIDENTAL CAT
NEWS, THIS MEMBER OF THE PAKISTANI GOVERNMENT
ACCIDENTALLY LIVESTREAMED HIS PRESS BRIEFING WITH THE CAT
FILTER ON. “I AM CALLING FOR A NATIONAL BAN
ON DOGS! NOW, LET US ALL NAP FOR THE NEXT
23 HOURS AND WAKE UP AND SEE MY BUTT!”
I LIKE THIS. I THINK A LOT MORE PEOPLE WOULD
WATCH THE DEMOCRATIC DEBATES IF THEY USED A FILTER OR TWO. MEANWHILE–
( AS BERNIE ) THE POT OF GOLD, LE LEPRECHAUNS. MEANWHILE, LONDON WILL GET THE
WORLD’S FIRST INFINITY POOL WITH 360-DEGREE VIEWS ON TOP OF A
55-STORY BUILDING. THE BUILDING-TOP POOL IS PERFECT
IF YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT FRILLS LIKE DIVING BOARDS OR “BEING
ABLE TO GET IN OR OUT.” I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU’RE
SUPPOSED TO– IT’S ALL… BUT IT WILL MAKE POOL GAMES MORE
EXCITING. “MARCO! PO-LOOOO!”
“MARCO! PO-LOOOO!”
( APPLAUSE ) MEANWHILE, “THE LYRICS DATABASE
‘GENIUS’ HAS ACCUSED GOOGLE OF STEALING ITS CONTENT AND
REPOSTING IT WITHOUT PERMISSION.” AND GENIUS CAUGHT GOOGLE IN THE
ACT, BY “PURPOSEFULLY ALTERNATING BETWEEN STRAIGHT AND
CURVED APOSTROPHES AS A FORM OF WATERMARKING TO SPELL OUT ‘RED
HANDED’ IN MORSE CODE.” WOW! WHOEVER CAME UP WITH THAT PLAN
MUST BE SOME SORT OF… SMARTY PANTS? KNOW-IT-ALL? BIG BRAIN THINKER? A GOOGLE SPOKESPERSON DENIED ANY
WRONGDOING, SAYING, “GREAT BALLS OF FIRE, WE WOULDN’T STEAL
LYRICS. DON’T STOP BELIEVIN’ US. ALSO, BILLIE JEAN IS NOT OUR
LOVER. SCARAMOUCHE, SCARAMOUCHE, WILL
YOU DO THE FANDANGO?” MEANWHILE, IN DEAD WHALE NEWS,
A WASHINGTON STATE COUPLE HAS AGREED TO ALLOW A WHALE CARCASS
TO DECOMPOSE ON THEIR PROPERTY, TO WHICH NEIGHBORS REPLIED,
“FINE, KEEP THE DEAD WHALE, BUT YOU HAVE TO TOSS OUT YOUR
JACK-O-LANTERN. IT’S BEEN SEVEN MONTHS!”
MEANWHILE, TODAY “FACEBOOK LAUNCHED A NEW CRYPTOCURRENCY.” FINALLY, SOMETHING FOR EVERYONE
THINKING, “I WISH THERE WAS A WAY TO GIVE THAT COMPANY STAINED
BY YEARS OF PRIVACY ABUSE MY BANK INFORMATION?”
MEANWHILE, A RESIDENT OF MIRAMAR, FLORIDA, TOOK THIS
VIRAL FOOTAGE OF A NEIGHBOR POWER WASHING THEIR ROOF IN A
SPIDER-MAN COSTUME. ( LAUGHTER )
♪ SPIDER-MAN, SPIDER-MAN DOES WHATEVER YOUR STEP-DAD CAN
♪ IS HE STRONG? HERE’S THE PROOF
♪ POWER-WASHING A FLORIDA ROOF
♪ HEY THERE, OOPS– THERE GOES THE SPIDER-MAN ♪
( APPLAUSE ) MEANWHILE, THE WEBSITE
“YOUPORN IS OFFERING A ‘ONCE-IN-A-LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY
TO PROPOSE MARRIAGE ON THEIR ADULT WEBSITE,” WHICH WILL BE
THE FIRST TIME ANYONE ON THAT WEBSITE HAS EVER PUT A RING ON A
FINGER.

100 Replies to “Meanwhile… Genius Says Google Is Stealing Their Lyrics

  1. Stephen, you turned on my Google mini who told me about the song "Great Balls of Fire." True story. While this was a funny incident, I will not be happy if you tell my google mini to set the Upstairs Nest to 77 degrees while I'm trying to sleep. Seriously, I need it at 66 degrees.

  2. Meanwhile we are getting our news briefing here at Stephen Colbert's desk making fun of while sounding as a true news man . Very clever getting better at it too .

  3. Wow getting your stuff stolen and reposted by bigger companies? Get in the line Genius, people have been doing that to artists even before the internet was a thing.

  4. all i care is that the artist is getting paid, if either coporation is paying them less fuck them. They're only profiting from the artist work not their own.

  5. 6 million followers just shows there is no hope for you America you are doomed to fail with a dumb population.

  6. Google already stated that they contract through another sub company to provide their lyrics searches. That company may have taken them straight off the complainant, but here's my argument: Who cares? We're talking about a company that exists by writing down lyrics written and copyrighted by other artists in the first place. How can they claim to have a copyright to those lyrics?

  7. That whale must be a health threat and stinks to high heaven as it rots. I live in Washington and it can be a strange state. But at least weed is legal. Which can help in a pinch.

  8. They also put that stuff he gives them for dog food, in our cereal, along with rust dust, used as an iron supplement 😁…do you know what part of this statement is just a joke…

  9. DELETE FACEBOOK – I left last year, and haven't missed it. My life isn't perfect, but a lot of crap has gone from it.

  10. Wait a sec, Genius' lyrics? That's ironic, considering the whole point of that site is to "steal" lyrics from the artists who actually wrote them.

  11. Meanwhile if you type β€œmeanwhile” into the search box you get meanwhile after meanwhile after β€”

  12. So now I have to see Colbert as hating… Bernie with horns, Hillary, who we knew wouldn't win in the first place…… OK. See you now…

  13. I'm pretty sure Genius doesn't own the lyrics. All they're doing is reposting songwriters intellectual property.

  14. '*pushes up glasses*' Mr Colbert, the Polo player in marco polo typically keeps their eyes open. The marco player is the one most likely to fall off the building

  15. I am sorry but it would be the person who is saying Marco who falls off not the person saying Polo. Because the person who is keeping their eyes closed is saying only Marco, while the people who have their eyes open are saying Polo.

  16. Disregarding how to get in and out of the pool. Why the hell build one on a roof in London? Not exactly known for sunshine and swimming now, is it?

  17. Duckduckgo tells me they are suppose to come in and out via some submarine hatch situation with the pool. It would still involve someone holding their breath, if someone were to have any kind of medical emergency, like say someone was drowning or had a heart attack etc, they'd be in trouble.

    Also the water right up to the top like that is crazy. People playing in a pool create waves so..
    1. Water would be constantly splashing over the side of the building. Yes, just what everyone below wants, randomly being hit by dirty chlorinated pool water from 55 stories up.

    2. Waves could push someone near the edge of this pool over the wall. It would makes relaxing and floating in this pool one of the most dangerous things ever, even if you weren't close to the edge since you could drift over I'd be terrified to go anywhere near the edge of the pool, floating or not. Which would defeat the point of it all since it seems like the point is to be able to go swimming with a great view.

  18. So… lyrical paper towns. I thought about this when I saw an incorrect lyric reposted several places. β€œThat’s a weird thing to get wrong, and these three sites all did.” Maybe not genus, but certainly smart.

  19. Florida man, Florida man, lives his life in a garbage can. Is he depressed or is he a mess?
    Does he feel totally worthless?

    No wait.

  20. I love your show but please….please comprehend that there are some subjects, few, but some…that you shouldn't take so lightly…i.e. the photograph of a black hole..and whales….

  21. Genius never even gets the lyrics correct so who the fuck cares. Google would be taking the L on that one by stealing from them.

  22. 3:02 They better put a few ventilation holes. Otherwise, the thing may build up gas and parts of it may explode. This is a common issue with whale carcasses.

  23. Unfortunately, politicians using silly filters is probably a really good idea to get ppl to pay attention to debates (or politics in general). If you make it funny that would draw ppl's attention then once you've got ppl watching they'd actually sit there and start listening (or at least some of them would). Like what John Oliver did w/ the supreme court, real dogs, fake paws.

  24. OMG the intro continues to be annoying. The trend seems to be the longer the intro, the worse the segment. So I guess the intro it's just a distraction, like a Trump Twitter flame war.

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