All Is Well! It’s Not WWIII, But Meme Warfare Continues Between Iran And U.S.

All Is Well! It’s Not WWIII, But Meme Warfare Continues Between Iran And U.S.


LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME
ONE AND ALL TO “THE LATE SHOW.” I’M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT. AND I AM SO HAPPY– YOU KNOW
WHAT? I CAN TELL YOU’RE HAPPY. I’M HAPPY TO BE HERE TONIGHT. I’M HAPPY HERE IS HERE TONIGHT
BECAUSE IT WAS A LITTLE DICEY THE LAST 24 HOURS. BECAUSE REMEMBER WHEN TRUMP
KILLED THE TOP IRANIAN GENERAL QASSEM SOLEIMANI AND EVERYBODY
WAS LIKE, “IS THIS WORLD WAR III?”
WELL, I’M HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE IT’S NOT WORLD WAR III! IT’S NOT!( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
I DON’T KNOW IF YOU CAN TELL, BUT WE MADE MOST OF THIS GRAPHIC
WHEN WE WERE A LITTLE MORE NERVOUS.( LAUGHTER )
BUT HERE’S THE THING. IT’S NOT WORLD WAR III, AND
THAT’S WONDERFUL. BUT IT’S NOT LIKE NOTHING
HAPPENED. LAST NIGHT, IRAN FIRED 22
MISSILES AT TWO MILITARY BASES IN IRAQ WHERE AMERICAN TROOPS
ARE STATIONED. THE ATTACK HAPPENED AT 5:30, AND
FOR HOURS, WE KNEW NOTHING. THEN AT 9:45 P.M. EASTERN TIME,
OUR COMMANDER IN CHIEF TWEETED AT A WORRIED NATION, “ALL IS
WELL!( LAUGHTER )
MISSILES LAUNCHED FROM IRAN AT TWO MILITARY BASES LOCATED IN
IRAQ. ASSESSMENT OF CASUALTIES AND
DAMAGES TAKING PLACE NOW. SO FAR, SO GOOD! WE HAVE THE MOST POWERFUL AND
WELL EQUIPPED MILITARY ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD, BY FAR! I WILL BE MAKING A STATEMENT
TOMORROW MORNING.” WELL THERE TTHERE IT IS. NOTICE YOU KNOW. SO IMPORTANT, SO IMPORTANT. RIGHT THERE IN BLACK AND WHITE:
REASSURANCE FROM THE COMMANDER IN CHIEF THAT THERE IS
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO WORRY->>ALL IS WELL!>>Stephen: OH, NO! IT’S “THE LATE SHOW’S ALL IS
WELL” ALARM! JON, QUICK! GET THE HAPPINESS FOOTBALL! QUICK! DO YOU HAVE YOUR KEY, JON?>>Jon: YES, YES.>>Stephen: INSERT YOUR KEY. INSERT YOUR KEY. ON MY MARK… 3… 2… 1.. ( ALARM STOPS )
>>Stephen: GOOD WORK, JON.>>Jon: MAN!>>Stephen: THANK YOU, JON,
GOOD WORK.( APPLAUSE )
IT’S OKAY, FOLKS. IT’S OKAY. WE’VE ACHIEVED “DEFCON FINE.”( LAUGHTER )
NOW, YOU’LL REMEMBER, AFTER THE SOLEIMANI STRIKE, TRUMP TWEETED
A LOW-RES IMAGE OF AN AMERICAN FLAG. AND I GUESS TO DRIVE HOME THE
POINT THAT THIS WAS RETALIATION, AN IRANIAN OFFICIAL TWEETED
THIS: THEY’RE FIGHTING WITH CLIP ART. CAN IT’S MEME– IT’S MEME
WARFARE. TRUMP WILL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO
HIT BACK WITH, “EHRMAGERD, WE’RE AT WEHR!”
NOPE! NOPE! NOPE! DON’T SPOIL ME. THEN, AS PROMISED, THIS MORNING,
TRUMP EMERGED TO ADDRESS A WORRIED WORLD FROM WHAT LOOKED
LIKE A LIVE NUCLEAR REACTOR.( LAUGHTER )
THE PRESIDENT STARTED HIS STATEMENT WITH A WEIRDLY ABRUPT
GREETING.>>AS LONG AS I AM PRESIDENT OF
THE UNITED STATES, IRAN WILL NEVER BE ALLOWED TO HAVE A
NUCLEAR WEAPON. GOOD MORNING.( LAUGHTER )
>>Stephen: STRANGE, VERY STRANGE HELLO.( AS DENTIST )
“AS LONG AS I’M YOUR DENTIST, YOUR FILLINGS WILL NEVER BE
COMPOSED OF MASHED-UP, OTHER PEOPLE’S TEETH. HELLO, I’M DR. DITWORTH.”>>Jon: OH, MY GOSH.>>Stephen: TRUMP WAS QUICK TO
DLAIM VICTORY.>>IRAN APPEARS TO BE STANDING
DOWN, WHICH IS A GOOD THING FOR ALL PARTIES CONCERNED, AND A
VERY GOOD THING FOR THE WORLD.>>Stephen: (AS TRUMP)
“IRAN APPEARS TO BE STANDING DOWN. AND THANKS TO AN ELABORATE
SYSTEM OF ROPES, PULLEYS, AND MIRRORS, I APPEAR TO BE STANDING
UP.”( LAUGHTER )
“PRETTY GOOD. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE,
DAVID COPPERFIELD.”( APPLAUSE )
OLD REFERENCE. OLD REFERENCE. OF COURSE, IT WOULDN’T BE A
TRUMP SPEECH WITHOUT SOME MISS-SPEACHING.>>THE CIVILIZED WORLD MUST SEND
A CLEAR AND UNIFIED MESSAGE TO THE IRANIAN REGIME: YOUR
CAMPAIGN OF TERROR, MURDER, MAYHEM WILL NOT BE TALA-RIDED
ANY LONGER. AMERICA’S ACHIEVED ENERGY
INDEPENDENCE. THESE HISTORIC ACCOMPLAMENTS… CHAINS OUR STRATEGIC PRIORITIES. IT.>>Stephen: REST EASY,
AMERICA. THAT IS THE MAN DECIDING WHO
LIGS AND WHO DIBES.

100 Replies to “All Is Well! It’s Not WWIII, But Meme Warfare Continues Between Iran And U.S.

  1. what did the dems do last time our embasy attacked and our Embassador literally sodomized then killed?………… tune in cnn

  2. "As long as I'm the president of the united states, Iran will never be allowed to have a working non-nuclear proliferation deal 7 friendly countries took the best part of a decade to negotiate."

  3. Would it be asking to much for an entertaining/funny host for late-night tv? There is so much great material that evades. My vote Bill Burr.

  4. It’s amazing how blatantly Agolf Twittler lies about anything, particularly in accusing Obama. It’s very clear why Iran is acting the way it is now, especially with the clear self-justification handed to them by the idiot in chief attacking Iran because of his own imminent election. Something he also claimed Obama would do, though he didn’t, and instead ends up doing himself which is another level of lying, accusing someone else of something he himself would do in the future (see the interview clips with tRump talking about it). Contemplate that for a minute. He accused Obama of doing something which Obama never did, and yet tRump himself would end up doing in the future (attacking Iran on the eve of his election). tRump is such a special level of a liar who lies about the past, present and even the future. He’s like all the Christmas ghost spirits rolled into one person, except he’s the spirit of lies.

    He’s attempting to deflect so badly from his own actions and accuses the previous administration for his own mistakes and idiocy while claiming amazing, “best ever”, record breaking achievements of his own BY HIS OWN MOUTH. Why can he not pronounce things properly when he often does so? Because he’s got his own foot and shoe in his mouth while doing it!

  5. It’s not WWIII…
    Quite frankly, that remains to be seen.
    The President is unhinged and has the emotional intelligence of a Parakeet.

  6. The weird opening of the president was simply psychology applied to the american people, he's basically saying 'hey i'm your daddy and if you keep me in office, I'll protect you', he's just trying to get re-elected, that's why he started all this drama.

  7. And it won't be WOrld War III because the Western World (Europe) won't be sucked into another fiasco like the Iraqi war has turned out to be. If we go after Iran we will be on our own, facing nt only Iran but other Muslim nations and mercenary groups.

  8. Colbert is a leading example of the tragedy produced by the anarchic left wing propaganda machine that has taken over "education" system in America. He has first been told/instructed/threatened to believe that one word of disagreement with the left wing program is a virtual criminal act. That being accomplished, you can tell your victim toadies ANYTHING and they will believe and violently defend it to all non-believers. The Colberts have the power to both silence and destroy anything they want to destroy in America. And so it goes, as dashing Democrat leader Linda Ellerbee always said. (Meaning: Shut up and do as we say.)

  9. NO, WW3 just, Trump allone agains the rest of the world. In Germany we say " Viel Feind, viel Ehr" Mutch ennemys, Mutch honor

  10. Any one of you that thought this was going to turn into WW3, is just as stupid and moronic as Donald Trump himself!.this would have been no different than the Gulf war of 90/91. It would have lasted 60 days or less, and would have been a war of technology vs extremists, where technology would have one. And honestly, for most of you capitalists, you should have been hoping for a war, as war means $$$$$$$ for most of you.n

  11. Can American government stop being so military active to countries that are so far way….Iraq and even Afghanistan still facing consequences…..and ofc Saudi is all great because of oil…afraid for Iran

  12. And I used to like this dude. Now I know his angle and he is definitely part of the problem, not the solution. Good riddance, Colbert.

  13. The expression on the face of the General standing behind Trump was hilarious. He looked like a cartoon version of horror

  14. I'm not even worried about this war I'm not going to worry myself over a war we can easily win Russia haven't even said anything yet they don't want no smoke

  15. The US president can't talk like a normal human being. He can't even breathe like a human being and those weren't clear enough signs that you were voting for an idiot child. You may worry about your president's mental health, but we worry about the mental health of all of you.

  16. Seems like a serious subject to be made into a joke on a comedy show. Not sure what the audience finds funny. It"s mostly disturbing what's happening.

  17. You know, I think Trump is finally catching on to how important and delicate the job of the president is. I think he is developing a tiny bit of respect for the office. Like, he has realised he can single-handedly cause the deaths of scads of people, and it bugs him a little. He's not really cool with mass murder. He's still awful, but is interesting to see him learn in real time.

  18. Here I am, a young person who is in touch with internet culture, thinking he was going to talk about the actual WWIII memes.

  19. Those confused by Donald Trump's model for governance, particularly exercise of war powers, need look no further than the Marx Brothers movie "Duck Soup."

  20. I find it funny that americans make entertainment out of death and misery of other countrys instead of helping or even pretending to care america is full psychotic normal looking people.

  21. World War Three ! World War Three! The lranians raised the red flag ! Ohhhhhh No !!!!!!!!!…. Never mind… ..

  22. Libtards love to take everything out of context and stir up the drama. Taking out Soleimani was the exact right thing to do and thankful we finally have a President with a backbone that will take decisive action and not apologize or draw a line in the sand.

  23. where in the constitution does it give the president the authority to kill people based upon hearsay and without due process

  24. They are trying to drag us into a war with Iran and are cynically occupying a now unwilling Iraq in an unaknowledged act of war, using our troops as bait and targets to stoke american rage in a never-ending cycle of revenge and "defense" spending. This will make us and the Iraqis less safe, more poor, and will lead to hoards of refugees and famine. Regular people will suffer the most, as usual, while our leaders hide behind fancy suits

    Withdraw from iraq — tell your senators, sign the petition to leave Iraq and help Australia
    https://www.change.org/p/donald-j-trump-withdraw-from-iraq-and-send-the-troops-to-help-australia

  25. Behind Trump's left shoulder within the 4 minute clip when Trump fucs up on 2 words at singular intervals, watch the gentlemans eye movement at trumps fuc t ed up words.

  26. Not WWIII! President Trump knows what he's doing and the lefties are left scratching thier heads. you people will never understand.If Trump were a Democrat he'd just send another plane full of cash under cover of darkness. Nice to finally have a President who gets it. Look at the economy,WOW!

  27. Does no one else think these trump jokes are getting old? Get some new material. It’s starting to sound like propaganda

  28. Trump: Declares war on Iran
    Americans: Attempt to flee draft by going to mexico
    Mexico: Surrounded by Wall
    Trump: In case you haven't noticed, you've fallen right into my trap.

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